22 & everything new
Was this title originally used for one of my Spotify playlists? Perhaps yes, but boy does this hit home for what I and others are experiencing in this post grad season.
Just a few short months ago, we were seniors in college and “so ready to graduate.” We were counting down the days until we were going to start making money and stop having homework. My Instagram feed was filled with posts of friends announcing jobs they had landed and dream grad schools other friends had been accepted to . Nothing but pure excitement for the future, it seemed as if all of our hard work for the last four years was finally paying off. I was finally going to be a nurse and move to the big city of Atlanta.
Graduation day came and in a matter of a few days, my best friends scattered to different cities.
The night before moving into my first apartment in Atlanta, I was on the phone with my friend Thomas Benton. We were talking about life as usual, and he told me how hard moving away had been. I then shared with him how I had been so blessed with my job and new life I had been praying for yet still felt so empty. Why?
The answer to that question is simple. It is community. No one really talks about it, but nothing really prepares you for post grad life. The last four years we had been surrounded by thousands of peers and even lived with our best friends. Then we all go our separate ways and guess what? We start over, but this time in a much less community oriented environment. We are now adults in charge of various things, have to make decisions, are held accountable and responsible.
Thomas also told me on that phone call that I am either going to sink or swim in this new season. I agreed with that. Based on the fact my last year of college was filled with some moments of regret, I was determined to succeed. In fact, I exhausted myself the first month being in Atlanta. The amount of effort I put into reaching out to people, going to events, grabbing dinner with people, joining small groups and reconnecting with old friends just wore me out. I could hear the Lord’s voice clearly say relax; it will all fall into place with time. My personality doesn’t love the whole “with time” part of that statement. I love for things to be fixed instantly.
One common thing I found through meeting a bunch of people my age was the yearn for community. Everyone in my small group was there looking for connection, wanting to belong somewhere. You would never guess it based on their Instagram pictures, but most everyone I know who just graduated college is desiring connection.
I have really been sitting in the why? Why does it seem that God has abandoned all my friends who are going into this new season? You see I am not questioning God I just want to know the reasoning. I came across this scripture that seems to speak to this difficult situation.
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient (they go away), but the things that are unseen are eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:17-18
You see, I believe this time of transition is a momentary affliction. The Lord sometimes puts you in situations where he knows you will have to rely on him. What is not always seen is the work the Lord is doing in our hearts and in our life. And this work will be eternal.
I believe these years can be defining for a person. Yes you can sink or swim. This time period it's all on you. You get to make the decisions. You get to decide what friend group you choose. You get to decide what you do in your free time. For once in your life it is all up to you. The newness and lack of community will end. You will find new friends and you will once again have that sense of belonging. The real challenge is what are you going to allow in your life? Are you so desperate for connection you are willing to go down the wrong path in order to get what you want or are you going to be patient and wait for the community that turns into family. The type of friends that better you, who would do anything for you and know your authentic self are worth waiting out for.
Although it is so, so difficult to start over, I believe rushing the process and being around the wrong people can be even more lonely. Have you ever felt lonely in a crowded room? Maybe because everyone around you is just trying to have fun and they don’t actually really care about you. You see I believe that can be way more painful than being physically alone and working through the process of finding authentic friends. The Lord is faithful, but He will not be rushed (talking to myself here).
He will never lead you to a place where he does not have a place and a purpose for you. You just have to have enough faith. Because for those of great faith, he will provide more than you could ever imagine.
